THE Queen of Hearts,
She made some tarts,
All on a summer's day;
The Knave of Hearts,
He stole those tarts,
And took them clean away.
The King of Hearts
Called for the tarts,
And beat the Knave full sore;
The Knave of Hearts
Brought back the tarts,
And vowed he'd steal no more.
(traditional nursery rhyme)
– – –
The Kingdom of Hearts had one holiday every year that they celebrated with the most enthuasiasm: Valentine’s Day. On this cheerful occassion, the townsfolk were running around giving chocolates and flowers to their loved ones and preparing themselves for the huge celebration in the evening.
Valentines Day Parade
However, inside the castle walls of this kingdom paced the King of Hearts, concocting yet another plan to survive this Valentines Day. For every year, his lovely missus, the Queen of Hearts, baked her sweet tarts for his stomach, and his stomach only.
Queen of Hearts baking tarts.
Those scrumptious scent of those tarts filled all the halls of the castle, but the King knew better. Those tarts were the worst tarts in the whole kingdom.
“My God,” said the King, “What will I ever do?”
“Sire,” said the Knave, “We have already tried all things to rid of those tarts.”
“I know! I know!” The King was so frustrated. He had tried all things possible to rid of those tarts, but alas he failed each time.
“Sire,” the Knave spoke up. “I believe the Lady, your Queen, has suspicion of your tart-plans.”
“Which is why this year I must make sure I do it right.”
The King paced back and forth, back and forth. “Aha! I’ve got it!”
He walked up to the Knave and poked his index finger at the Knave’s forehead. “You, my good lad, you will steal the tarts!”
The Knave’s eyes grew wide. “But sir, how will I ever do that? The Queen does not let any soul into the kitchen until she the tarts are ready.”
“That is where you are wrong, my boy!”
The King then pulled the Knave aside and they walked down the hall, whispering to each other of this devious little plan.
– – –
The cries could be heard through the whole kingdom. Someone had stolen the Queen’s tarts! The King rushed to his Queen to comfort her.
“Don’t you worry, my Lady! I shall search the whole kingdom for your tarts!”
And so the hunt began to find the tarts and finally brought forth was the Knave, tarts in hand, in front of the Queen to apologize.
“How dare you steal my Queen’s tarts! You shall be punished!” He pointed to the Knave. “Guards, take him to my chambers where I will beat him myself!”
And so the poor Knave was taken away and the tarts retrieved. The Queen went up to the King, tarts in hand.
“Oh my love, now you can enjoy the tarts!” The Queen spoke with much enthusiasm.
“But dear, the tarts are all ruined and have been ruined, look!” The King changed his expression to one of sadness.
The Queen smiled, a small glimmer in her eye. “Oh dear, don’t you worry.”
She pulled out another tart from behind her back. “I always have a spare.”
And then the King really did go and beat up the Knave, for the Knave had forgotten to steal the very last tart.
– – –
Author's Note. This story is based on the nursery rhyme "The Queen of Hearts" which you can find in The Nursery Rhyme Book, edited by Andrew Lang (1897). In the rhyme, the Queen of Hearts makes some tarts and the Knave steals them. However, the King finds them and beats up the Knave, returning the tarts to the Queen. In my story, I made a little twist to where the tarts being stolen was the King’s plan the whole time. He planned with the Knave to have him steal the tarts, because they tasted so horrible and return them all ruined. However, it did not work out in his favor since in the end, the Queen had extra left.
