Sita giggled amongst her
maids as they spoke of one of the servant boys who brought havoc amongst the
girls simply with his looks.
“Oh, he is so very
dreamy,” cried one.
“Even more so, his smile,”
swooned a second.
“It should be a crime to
be so beautiful,” sighed a third.
“If only he would make me
his,” dreamed a fourth, lounging beside the princess.
Smiling, Sita gazed at the
beautiful garden from the gazebo where they were all settled, shading
themselves from the sun. Her eyes slid from the trees to each of the girls
surrounding her, their cheerful expressions cheering her heart.
“Oh!” one of the maids
gasped. “There he is! There he is!”
Sita elegantly craned her
neck back to get a glimpse of what the maids were shyly observing and
whispering about.
The servant boy they spoke
of was strolling down the pathway along with two other unfamiliar figures.
Sita shifted her gaze to one
of the men following behind the servant boy, her expression molding to one
parallel to the girls' expressions. She let out a small gasp of her own when her eyes fell
in line with his.
Beautiful, she
thought.
And then he was gone.
She had lost herself so
deeply in those eyes that she hadn’t even realized she was no longer looking at
them.
“Oh, did you see him? Did
you?” she frantically asked the girls.
“Yes,” they all chorused,
their thoughts consumed by a whole different being.
“He smiled at me this
time,” said the fourth maid jovially.
“You? That wasn’t
at you! It was at me!” the third hissed.
Sita shook out of her
dream and blinked at the sudden change of atmosphere. When did it become so
rowdy?
“Girls! Girls!” she said,
silencing them immediately. “What is the matter?”
She probably shouldn’t
have asked because they began yelling at each other all over again. Between all
this confusion, she heard ‘servant boy.’
“Servant boy?” she uttered
out loud.
“Yes!” replied maid number
one. “His smile was directed right to me!”
The other maids countered
her with the same argument.
“Girls! Girls!” Sita said
again, her voice rising over the others. “Did you not see the man who was
beside him?”
The maids all paused in
sync. “What man?”
“The one tall figure who
was walking a little behind the servant boy you were all so fondly giggling
about. You saw him, yes?”
She was desperate to know.
The girls shook their
heads. They were so absorbed in the other boy that they had not noticed Rama
as he was passing through the gardens.
Sita felt weak.
Was it just a dream? she
thought, sighing. If it was, it was the most beautiful dream she had ever
witnessed.
Unbeknownst to her, in only a few short hours, her dream would become a
reality.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: The main purpose of this story was to show from Sita's perspective, a snippet of what was happening when Sita and Rama met eyes for the very first time. I only showed it from Sita's point of view because we already know how Rama felt at that moment, though I had thought about expanding Rama's point of view too.
The moment when their eyes met was so very short-lived, and in my story I also made it brief just to show how quickly it happened. At the same time though, I wanted to express the connection that they had, at least on Sita's side. This scene was memorable to me especially now because we have finished Ramayana and know how *SPOILER ALERT* Sita gets swallowed into the ground after the whole separation between her and Rama and her attempt to come together again. It makes me sad to think that they went from such a cute beginning to that end.
Their weren't really any alterations from the original story. It was more just an idea I came up with, creating a kind of visual of that moment.
The moment when their eyes met was so very short-lived, and in my story I also made it brief just to show how quickly it happened. At the same time though, I wanted to express the connection that they had, at least on Sita's side. This scene was memorable to me especially now because we have finished Ramayana and know how *SPOILER ALERT* Sita gets swallowed into the ground after the whole separation between her and Rama and her attempt to come together again. It makes me sad to think that they went from such a cute beginning to that end.
Their weren't really any alterations from the original story. It was more just an idea I came up with, creating a kind of visual of that moment.
Sita: Entranced in the Garden
Source: Google
Bibliography:
- Narayan, R. K. (1972) The Ramayana.
I like how much more detail you added to the story! It is funny to read about it as if Sita was the only one to even notice Rama. The original version had made me assume that Rama was basically gorgeous—he is an incarnation of a god after all! But I like the idea of just Sita being obsessed with his looks, as opposed to everybody.
ReplyDeleteHello!
ReplyDeleteI like how you added a bit more detail in your story! Telling it from Sita's standpoint is a great technique. When I was reading though your story It reminded me of the part in Shrek 2 when Shrek is turned into a human and there are 4 maids that are all swooning over him. Anyways I also thought at first Sita was staring at the servant boy, but she really was looking at Rama. It was love at first sight. Great job with the story!
Khadija,
ReplyDeleteI keep coming back because your writing is so delightful (Although, I feel like I should stop complimenting you for fear of your head growing too big)!
I love the side story. It really adds to the Sita’s personality. You’ve made it so realistic and relatable (for females at least). It seems we have all been in that dreamy, romantic daze before. Or at least we have gotten all giddy over some fellow (I sure do sometimes…even at age 22). I also like your cliff hanger. Most of us know what lies ahead if we read, but if I had not read and this had been a chapter in the a book, then I would have needed to read the next chapter!
Great spoiler-alert warning in your author’s note. You must have fallen victim to having a t.v. show, movie, or book spoiled for you at some point! Ha.
As usual, I can’t really find any mistakes or improvements for you to make. Which makes it really hard to comment by the way.
This was an interesting little scene of Sita's first encounter with Rama. Sita seems very mature in contrast to the maids who surround here. While they're all gushing and giggling and practically fainting at the thought of a handsome man, Sita seems to just chuckle at them. But even when she sets her own eyes on Rama, the man who is about to drive her mad with love, she doesn't react the same way as the maids. Most of her feelings are internalized and she remains composed on the outside, which I think is very consistent with the way she is portrayed in the Ramayana. I wish the story would have been a little longer, with maybe a monologue from Sita later when she is by herself. But otherwise, it was a nice story.
ReplyDelete"Their weren't really any alterations from the original story." - should be "there", not "Their"
I really enjoyed this story because Rama and Sita's story is really cute just like you mentioned! It's literally love at first sight, and you captured that moment perfectly. The feelings she felt for him were so deep that she thought she was dreaming. The way you captured giggling gossip of the servant girls also added a lot to the mood of the story. It felt like a big group of middle school girls huddled around each other obsessing over a cute guy, but then the way you wrote about Sita made her seem at a higher level of maturity. The structure of your story was great, it's very well written and I didn't see any mistakes. It flows very well and you did a great job with the dialog! A lot of times it's hard to break dialog up, but you did it very well! Awesome job on this story!
ReplyDelete