Nakula lifted his shield, catching a blow and pounding into Sahadeva’s shield with his own sword. The clashing of metal shook through the castle grounds, echoing off the stone walls surrounding the perimeter.
Standing a short distance away with his arms folded, Bhima nodded in approval at his brothers, a trace of a smile gracing his lips. “Excellent swing, Nakula. You’re improving.”
Nakula’s eyes crinkled from the praise but lost their shine as soon as they spotted a familiar figure approaching.
“Bhima—“ he began, but his brother raised his hand, cutting his speech short. Nakula turned to Sahadeva, exchanging a worried look before returning his gaze to the scene that was about to take place before them.
Taking a few steps ahead of his siblings, Bhima came face-to-face with the man.
“Hello, cousin.”
“Bhima,” Duryodhana spat out.
“Here to fight me again?” Bhima chuckled, a smug expression plastered on his face. And just to emphasize his superiority, he inched closer and poked Duryodhana square in the chest, causing some of the Kaurava brothers positioned behind Duryodhana to shift forward, hands folded into fists.
Duryodhana signaled them with his hand and they immediately backed up, though still tense.
“We’re only here to train fo—“ His words were left suspended in air as he whipped his head back to avoid the mace swinging in his direction.
“What the hell is your problem!” he heard his brother yell at Bhima, stomping towards him.
“Dushasana, stop,” Duryodhana called out, his order immediately taking effect. Dushasana turned to him with sad eyes, wanting to help his sibling against the one man that always wreaked havoc amongst the Kauravas. “But, brother…”
Duryodhana returned his attention to Bhima. “No, Dushasana. This is my fight.”
Bhima twisted his lips into a malicious grin.
“When will you learn, cousin? No matter how many times you try, this is just one battle you’ll never win.”
Boiling over, Duryodhana thrust his weapon at Bhima who countered the attack with his mace, the two rods clanging loudly against each other.
Bhima let out a haughty laugh, shoving his opponent to the ground.
“Your skills are lacking, cousin,” he taunted, knowing very well how calling Duryodhana ‘cousin’ aggravated him to no end and would make him lose focus.
“My skills are far superior to yours,” Duryodhana hissed, trying not to let his anger get the best him. But as always, it did, and he failed to notice Bhima’s mace swinging full force towards his face.
Unable to retaliate with his own weapon in time, he raised his hands to protect himself from the strike when an arrow chafed over Bhima’s right hand, making him loosen his grip and causing the mace to fly over Duryodhana, hitting the ground with a soft thud.
Everyone’s gaze shifted towards the cause of this interruption. Even Arjuna, a few yards away, stopped his practice and turned to look.
“Brother,” Duryodhana smiled.
Karna met his eyes and returned the smile. Duryodhana got up, pushing Bhima out of the way and went to embrace his closest companion. “You’ve returned.”
“Yes, and just in time to save you from a terrible fate,” Karna replied, patting his back.
“Have you done as I instructed you?” Duryodhana whispered.
Karna nodded in affirmation.
The reunion was soon enough disrupted when Arjuna strode up to them, making his presence known by jabbing the blunt end of his arrow into Karna’s shoulder.
“For what reason have you returned?” Arjuna prodded. “You are not permitted to compete with us.”
Duryodhana grabbed the end of the arrow and thrust it back at Arjuna.
“You’re speaking to the King of Anga,” Duryodhana proudly declared. “So back off.”
Arjuna cocked up his brow. “King of Anga?”
Karna stepped forward. “That’s right.”
After contemplating for a moment, Arjuna turned around and started walking away.
“Well then! King of Anga!” he yelled over his shoulder. “What say you and I have a duel?”
All the Kauravas and the three other Pandavas present on the field now crowded around the two rivals, anticipating what was to come.
“You see those straw birds placed on the tree?” Arjuna said.
Karna craned his neck to look.
“The target,” Arjuna announced, “is their eye.”
He strung the arrow along the bow and fired at his goal. It darted straight into its eye, the bird falling off the tree.
“Your turn,“ he said with a smirk on his face, which was soon wiped clean as he watched Karna’s arrow whip past him and pierce through his arrow on the same target before it hit the ground.
Duryodhana’s smug countenance showed he was more than elated at seeing the Pandavas get a taste of their own medicine. Behind him, all his brothers were cheering while the Pandavas stood silent, Bhima surveying the scene with stern eyes.
The competition continued for a while until Arjuna realized that this could go on forever.
“There is one last target,” he announced forebodingly, his head lowered.
Karna drew his bow, ready to fire.
"The target is you," Arjuna whispered, releasing his arrow.
Duryodhana screamed, his eyes shutting tightly. Karna is dead.
He opened his eyes. Bhima was standing in front of him. The war around them. And all his family sprawled across the battleground, lifeless.
"This is your end," Bhima said as he slashed through him, making his world dark once more.
Author's Note: Okay, so this is was not how I imagined writing this out and I don't like the way I wrote it too much either. In my mind, the scene played out beautifully and I was really attempting to describe the visual in my head in words but I had a serious case of writer's block. I also didn't expect my story to reach so close to the 1000 limit mark so I had to cut down a whole lot.
My focus for this story was Duryodhana and Karna. There bond is one I've grown to love even though they are the antagonists in the story. I started to see them as the underdog, despite all the things they did to the Pandavas. I was sort of trying to be a lawyer and present their case from a different perspective because I really felt bad for them and the situation they were stuck in.
I wanted to at least for one of my stories show the Pandavas-Kauravas rivalry so I decided to have kind of a "flashback scene" where it was a typical day in which they were training. I altered a few things from the story where Karna comes in, now the King of Anga. I can't quite remember but I'm pretty sure Duryodhana was with him while he was attempting to acquire that position. Also, I doubt Karna would come straight to where they'd be training after becoming King of Anga but for the sake of the story, it had to be done! The flashback ended with Duryodhana coming back to reality—reality being the war to remember that Karna is not only dead in his flashback but for real. I wanted to show how consumed he was by the thought of Karna's death that that was all he could think about after hearing about it—hence the flashback scene.
Standing a short distance away with his arms folded, Bhima nodded in approval at his brothers, a trace of a smile gracing his lips. “Excellent swing, Nakula. You’re improving.”
Nakula’s eyes crinkled from the praise but lost their shine as soon as they spotted a familiar figure approaching.
“Bhima—“ he began, but his brother raised his hand, cutting his speech short. Nakula turned to Sahadeva, exchanging a worried look before returning his gaze to the scene that was about to take place before them.
Taking a few steps ahead of his siblings, Bhima came face-to-face with the man.
“Hello, cousin.”
“Bhima,” Duryodhana spat out.
“Here to fight me again?” Bhima chuckled, a smug expression plastered on his face. And just to emphasize his superiority, he inched closer and poked Duryodhana square in the chest, causing some of the Kaurava brothers positioned behind Duryodhana to shift forward, hands folded into fists.
Duryodhana signaled them with his hand and they immediately backed up, though still tense.
“We’re only here to train fo—“ His words were left suspended in air as he whipped his head back to avoid the mace swinging in his direction.
“What the hell is your problem!” he heard his brother yell at Bhima, stomping towards him.
“Dushasana, stop,” Duryodhana called out, his order immediately taking effect. Dushasana turned to him with sad eyes, wanting to help his sibling against the one man that always wreaked havoc amongst the Kauravas. “But, brother…”
Duryodhana returned his attention to Bhima. “No, Dushasana. This is my fight.”
Bhima twisted his lips into a malicious grin.
“When will you learn, cousin? No matter how many times you try, this is just one battle you’ll never win.”
Boiling over, Duryodhana thrust his weapon at Bhima who countered the attack with his mace, the two rods clanging loudly against each other.
Bhima let out a haughty laugh, shoving his opponent to the ground.
“Your skills are lacking, cousin,” he taunted, knowing very well how calling Duryodhana ‘cousin’ aggravated him to no end and would make him lose focus.
“My skills are far superior to yours,” Duryodhana hissed, trying not to let his anger get the best him. But as always, it did, and he failed to notice Bhima’s mace swinging full force towards his face.
Unable to retaliate with his own weapon in time, he raised his hands to protect himself from the strike when an arrow chafed over Bhima’s right hand, making him loosen his grip and causing the mace to fly over Duryodhana, hitting the ground with a soft thud.
Everyone’s gaze shifted towards the cause of this interruption. Even Arjuna, a few yards away, stopped his practice and turned to look.
“Brother,” Duryodhana smiled.
Karna met his eyes and returned the smile. Duryodhana got up, pushing Bhima out of the way and went to embrace his closest companion. “You’ve returned.”
“Yes, and just in time to save you from a terrible fate,” Karna replied, patting his back.
“Have you done as I instructed you?” Duryodhana whispered.
Karna nodded in affirmation.
The reunion was soon enough disrupted when Arjuna strode up to them, making his presence known by jabbing the blunt end of his arrow into Karna’s shoulder.
“For what reason have you returned?” Arjuna prodded. “You are not permitted to compete with us.”
Duryodhana grabbed the end of the arrow and thrust it back at Arjuna.
“You’re speaking to the King of Anga,” Duryodhana proudly declared. “So back off.”
Arjuna cocked up his brow. “King of Anga?”
Karna stepped forward. “That’s right.”
After contemplating for a moment, Arjuna turned around and started walking away.
“Well then! King of Anga!” he yelled over his shoulder. “What say you and I have a duel?”
All the Kauravas and the three other Pandavas present on the field now crowded around the two rivals, anticipating what was to come.
“You see those straw birds placed on the tree?” Arjuna said.
Karna craned his neck to look.
“The target,” Arjuna announced, “is their eye.”
He strung the arrow along the bow and fired at his goal. It darted straight into its eye, the bird falling off the tree.
“Your turn,“ he said with a smirk on his face, which was soon wiped clean as he watched Karna’s arrow whip past him and pierce through his arrow on the same target before it hit the ground.
Duryodhana’s smug countenance showed he was more than elated at seeing the Pandavas get a taste of their own medicine. Behind him, all his brothers were cheering while the Pandavas stood silent, Bhima surveying the scene with stern eyes.
The competition continued for a while until Arjuna realized that this could go on forever.
“There is one last target,” he announced forebodingly, his head lowered.
Karna drew his bow, ready to fire.
"The target is you," Arjuna whispered, releasing his arrow.
Duryodhana screamed, his eyes shutting tightly. Karna is dead.
He opened his eyes. Bhima was standing in front of him. The war around them. And all his family sprawled across the battleground, lifeless.
"This is your end," Bhima said as he slashed through him, making his world dark once more.
Family Rivalry
Source: imgkid
Author's Note: Okay, so this is was not how I imagined writing this out and I don't like the way I wrote it too much either. In my mind, the scene played out beautifully and I was really attempting to describe the visual in my head in words but I had a serious case of writer's block. I also didn't expect my story to reach so close to the 1000 limit mark so I had to cut down a whole lot.
My focus for this story was Duryodhana and Karna. There bond is one I've grown to love even though they are the antagonists in the story. I started to see them as the underdog, despite all the things they did to the Pandavas. I was sort of trying to be a lawyer and present their case from a different perspective because I really felt bad for them and the situation they were stuck in.
I wanted to at least for one of my stories show the Pandavas-Kauravas rivalry so I decided to have kind of a "flashback scene" where it was a typical day in which they were training. I altered a few things from the story where Karna comes in, now the King of Anga. I can't quite remember but I'm pretty sure Duryodhana was with him while he was attempting to acquire that position. Also, I doubt Karna would come straight to where they'd be training after becoming King of Anga but for the sake of the story, it had to be done! The flashback ended with Duryodhana coming back to reality—reality being the war to remember that Karna is not only dead in his flashback but for real. I wanted to show how consumed he was by the thought of Karna's death that that was all he could think about after hearing about it—hence the flashback scene.
Bibliography: Buck, William (1973). Mahabharata.
I really enjoyed reading this story. I didn't realize what was going on at first, but then it became clear that a large part of the story was a flashback in Duryodhana's eyes. Perhaps it was a part of his life flashing before his eyes because he knew his life was coming to an end! You did a great job showing the intense rivalry between the Pandavas and Kauravas!
ReplyDeleteI completely understand the feeling of writing a story and not being please with how it turned out. Sometimes, we can see so vividly the scene in our heads but it is difficult to really put it into words. However I have to disagree with you. I think you did an excellent job here creating this scene! You are a talented writer. The story held my attention the whole way through. I was surprised by the way you portrayed the Pandavas as the antagonists, though it made sense after reading your author's note. It seems to me that both sets of brothers had their reasons for being upset, and it was a shame that a truce could never be reached.
ReplyDeleteThe only part of the story that I felt was lacking was the transition at the end from the flashback to the present. I really didn't quite get it until after reading your author's note. Otherwise, a truly excellent story! Thanks for sharing it!