I See Fire
A nightmare that is a reality
The King's Shadow
A poem praising Lakshmana for the great warrior that he was
Just a Dream
Sita and Rama's first connection in Sita's POV
Brothers
The rivalry of the Pandavas vs Kauravas at its finest
The King's Shadow
A poem praising Lakshmana for the great warrior that he was
Just a Dream
Sita and Rama's first connection in Sita's POV
Brothers
The rivalry of the Pandavas vs Kauravas at its finest
In your Portfolio, I read I See Fire. On the first glance, the layout is good. The font and colors against the background are easy to read and do not hinder the flow. Also, the link for your picture works well. The only thing that needs to be looked at is the second to last paragraph where the ending sentence is disrupted by font size. Also, your author’s note looks really good.
ReplyDeleteWhen reading your story, I do have a few things to point out. This first thing is a bit nitpicky, but you use the phrase “huge cloud of dust” and the word “huge” kind of throws off the flow of the sentence. I would look at synonyms that fit with your flow.
In one point of the story, you say “reached his hearing” and I believe that “ears” is the correct word to use in that phrase. Hearing throws it off a bit.
In the second to last paragraph, I would rework the first sentence, because it cuts off the flow of the paragraph.
And the last two sentences should probably be one sentence.
Other than that, good job! I liked your story.